How I feel right now?
How I feel right now?
Calorie counting is something that I used to be very rigid about; I wouldn’t just ‘eye’ things. I would want to be as precise as possible and even count the gum calories I ate. But it was hard; it’s hard to live like that, because you feel crazy around food (of which you don’t know how to calculate the ‘exact’ calories.) That’s why this post is all about the simple, concrete steps I’m challenging myself to every day so that I won’t just stay in this rut.
When you calorie count it’s not an easy habit to just ditch; it’s a process; I’m learning that. Each day there are steps, there are weapons to take out and fight this battle.
Full permission to eat at any time and whatever food. what does that look like? Right now, I’m not 100% sure. I would say wholeheartedly, that by God’s grace, I don’t have any more fear foods. I’ve realized that some of the old ‘ED’ thoughts have been creeping back in in the past few weeks after I’ve delved a bit too deep into gut healing that masks itself and steers me back towards diet culture.
but I think full permission to eat goes deeper:
What does it look like in my mind especially as I’ve watched other girls I love and respect take those leaps in recovery?
#1 – Not judging my hunger at all. If I’m really hungry on a day without activity, I need to just. eat. period. Eat and not analyze any of the calories.
#2 – full permission to eat what my body craves NOT what Instagram says is the most ‘healthy’ or ‘trendy’ food to eat.
#3 – if something sounds good, go eat it and be thankful for it. don’t sit there analyzing the decision in my head.
Ok, so some of those are hard for me to imagine.
Ok, now I’m moving onto some thoughts and linking up with Meg for Week in Review.
It’s been one week since my 3rd marathon, and I’m feeling good. I’m thankful for one full week off of running, and I went for a short run today.
This week included a lot of baking including the best EVER cookies from Haley’s blog. (I used butter instead of coconut oil)
This week my sister and I did a photo shoot. It included a lot of laughter and awkward poses. (Who else is awkward about posing on camera?)
Psalm 36:7, ‘How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.’
God is so good y’all. I can not tell you all the tough things that we went through this year, but here’s a small list.
Tough But Good Things:
Having my AMAZING Grandma here for 7 weeks and having to say goodbye to her.
Losing 2 dear friends and their pilot in a helicopter crash.
Starting a relationship but after a few months God directed me away from it. It was still tough, even though it was freeing knowing where God wanted me.
Thoughts going into the next week:
‘Aaahhhhh…. the conference we’re cooking for is coming up in 2 weeks. O_O’
‘Aaaahhhh …. CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING are almost here.’
‘AAAHHHHHH…. MORE PUMPKIN GOODIES!’
‘AAHHHHH ……. I WANT to stop Calorie Counting. . .’
I’m excited, grateful, a bit anxious about stopping calorie counting. I want to pour syrup without ‘eyeing it.’ I have come a LONG way in recovery, and this really feels like the next step God has been pushing me gently towards, and I am trusting Him and trying to think up a ‘battle attack’ plan of being ready to tackle this calorie counting and get rid of it once and for all.
Full permission to eat whenever and whatever your body needs: What does that look like?
This past weekend I just finished my 3rd marathon. That’s why it’s time to be cutting back on something I do love, genuinely, but my body needs a break. I loved it, but it’s time to cut back on exercise again. Why? I have learned that it’s OK to enjoy exercise again after recovery, because for a while I felt guilty for enjoying running/sweating it out after being recovered and weight restored.
But I’ve learned that it’s not wrong to enjoy movement. It just needs balance, and you have to take a step back and ask, ‘What can my body handle? What is too much? What is that happy medium that makes my body thrive and doesn’t exhaust my body or affect my cycle in a negative way?’
I am a very ordinary girl. I’m 24, but if you met me, you wouldn’t believe me. I am passionate about girls finding true beauty in Christ. I love peanut butter, icecream, and salad. My hobbies are cooking, baking, sharing laughs and tears with others, and sharing the fullness of joy that Christ has put in me. I love reading other blogs, and I hope that this will be a place where you can find encouragement, recipes, smiles, and joy. Click here to read more about me...