I am not good at waiting as evidenced by this post I shared earlier this week. I’m too impatient. I want things… right now, and I don’t want to wait for them. That need for instant gratification is so BAD, and the Lord is truly teaching me to wait on Him, to actually wait, quietly, quieting my heart, quieting my mind, quieting my desires because now isn’t quite the time.
Wait. – That would be the word that it seems the Lord has put in front of me right now. God is A LOVING Father to His children, and yesterday someone was reading from Proverbs 3 and how the Lord chastens those whom He loves.
Chastened – He is chastening my lack of patience because He LOVES me. He is honing me, shaving off the exceedingly rough edges on me, showing me that I didn’t deserve His grace, and to imagine that I deserve SOO much more is presumptous.
And in it all God is good. I find that in the times of agonizing confusion and waiting, it presses me more to the Lord. It’s like recovery. There were years when I thought,
“Will I ever stop caring about the number on the scale?”
“Will I ever stop examining my body in the mirror?”
“Will I ever stop obsessing over missed workouts?”
And I CAN say that I have. I haven’t weighed myself in years. I praise God for that.
Psalm 95:1, ‘O come, let us sing unto the Lord: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation.’
He has definitely saved me in so many ways. And right now I am learning to wait some more, to pray. to wait. to hope for His salvation. I treasure this Psalm that we often sing at church, Psalm 40.
Psalm 40:1-2, ‘
I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.’
I’m being honest here. I’ve been in a pit. I’ve cried a LOT this past week; I’ve realized how much I pity myself and how much I’m not caring for others and being compassionate towards others, marveling more at the grace of God.