I struggle with getting out of my routine. I love getting up in the morning, listening to a sermon, reading blogs, taking the dogs for a run or a walk, and then going off to do my work for the day. However, travel is so good at upsetting that routine which is a WONDERFUL thing for an eating disorder. Eating disorders love predictability, but God loves to train His children to trust Him. That’s what travel has taught me.
Negative body image comments are something that all of us have probably dealt with at one time or another. It’s such a real struggle especially when the temptation is to just look at the outward appearance of people. Even though I struggled with an ED myself, I STILL have problems not looking at people at drawing conclusions based on their appearance. Yet I’m reminded over and over again that God goes far deeper. He looks into our heart. Jesus went to the heart of the matter with the woman at the well. He knew that she had sin issues, and He dealt with them gently yet with a heart full of compassion and truth for what she was really struggling with deep down.
I’m going to start this post out by sharing that I have had a very irregular cycle since I was 12. It all began with me rooting my identity in exercise and the food I ate. I found exercise, and I created it into one of those idols. I did it for hours every day, but you might already know that if you’ve been a regular reader. Idols only drain the life out of you. I didn’t think about how much my cycle was important to my health as a woman. I only thought about how much I could be an impressive athlete, and the undue amount of stress I put on my body and mind is not something that I really like to recount. Yet, I want to talk about it again today, because I’m ENCOURAGED!!!!
I’m so encouraged and happy and thankful and joyful because God’s promise of help and redemption is so REAL.
For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’ “Fear not, you worm Jacob, You men of Israel! I will help you,” says the Lord And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. (Isaiah 41:13-14)
The Lord God has so graciously returned my cycle to me for 3 whole consecutive months since I first started the digestive healing journey with Victoria. I’m honestly still somewhat in disbelief, because there was always this doubt, lack of faith in my mind, that I probably wouldn’t get a regular period back. I’m cautiously hopeful and exuberantly joyful at this news, because it means that my body is regulating itself after so many years of me being mean to it.
God is enabling me to be kind to my body, to take care of it for His glory, to serve others without trying to be ‘the savior’ of everybody by running myself into the ground.
Why is regaining your cycle worth the pain?
#1) Because it means that you don’t have to be thinking about whether you’re eating enough all the time. You’re embracing more intuitive eating, intuitive exercise, intuitive living, and not being bound by obsessing over food and exercise all the time.
#2) It’s worth it because for me, my digestion has actually been better? It’s pretty cool to me that since my cycle has returned more regularly I’ve had less bloating, less pain, and less cramping after eating.
#3) It’s worth it because I feel like a woman again. I realize that if the Lord wills, I could possibly have a baby one day when I get married. If not, I still know that my body will operate well so I can go to other countries, do other things, and not worry about fragile bones.
I wanted to put all of my thoughts into an informal 15 minute podcast with the Beauty in Christ Podcast. I talked about:
My Journey With Exercise And Regaining My Cycle
My Dietitian Telling Me To Stop Running For A Week or Two and Why It was Hard but Good
Listen To It On the Blog:
Or you can find me on ‘Itunes’ under ‘Beauty in Christ, Freedom From the Idolatry of Body and Food.’
I also want to leave you with some really good posts about ‘Amenorrhea, Cycles, Hormones, Weight, Intuitive Eating and More.‘
Linking up with Amanda today to share today!
Have you ever struggled with your cycle?
Did you go through regaining your cycle? What things helped you?
‘To the Bone’ is a new movie that’s coming out on Netflix, and I must say that I have mixed feelings, very mixed feelings. It’s hard to show what an eating disorder looks like, but I listened to an interview with the main actress, Lily, who said that they were not intending to glamorize eating disorders at all. I actually do not doubt that, but I don’t think that I would say that the movie is the best representation of what an ED is.
(One of the qualms I had with it, that made me uncomfortable was the use of the ‘F’ word throughout the trailer) Yet let’s get to the deeper issues I have with it.
‘To The Bone’ shows a young girl in the trailer who is counting calories, who just can’t get thin enough. I agree that this is so often the motivation. We want to be thin, skinny; and we start to get a twisted sense of beautiful in our heads. We are trying to work our bodies to the bone, just to be loved, just to be accepted.