Linking with Amanda and the other blogger friends to share this for Thinking out Loud Thursday!
This is a huge huge topic for me, and it doesn’t seem huge, but it is. That’s why I’m doing this week’s podcast on this topic. It came to my mind last week when my sister and I were out clothes shopping. We went to the Outlet mall, Kohls, and Goodwill. I was afraid to start out with, but when we got to the mall, we prayed about finding the right clothes to fit. I didn’t just want them to fit a certain ‘size’ anymore, but I really wanted to find ones that would compliment my new size. Yet, I felt like this was a test. This was a test of whether or not I could embrace and truly thank God for the way He has healed me and enabled my body to even have a cycle at a higher body weight, with more fat on my frame.
It was a WONDERFUL, amazing day. We found:
1 dress at Down East
2 shirts at Kohls (both a grey color. One was dark grey. The other was long sleeved light gray)
1 black skirt at Goodwill that was the PERFECT size.
Guys. Gals. I used to always hold myself to buying all my clothes in size small. I was idolatrous of wanting to be a certain size, because I let that size define my identity. I was focused on myself and my size and often compared my size to others. I wouldn’t be content about anything but a size small, but it was miserable.
Now I have clothes ranging all the way from small to Large, but I wouldn’t be opposed to an XL if it would take my mind off of myself, my body.
The whole big problem was that I was really focused on myself. I was so selfishly focused on myself that I couldn’t see the value of loving my body for God’s glory at different sizes.
I didn’t think about how different designers make different size smalls or different size Mediums or size Larges or Size XLs or (fill in the blank). Whatever brand it was, I wanted it to FIT me in a size small, but I can say that this shopping trip was FREEDOM!!!!!
I got different sizes, and it didn’t make my upset or insecure. Jesus is winning the victory.
He truly is, and that’s why I made this podcast. I shared my heart about the journey, the journey of learning to embrace my body at different sizes.
There will be days when I’m bloated. I’ll wear baggier clothes then.
There will be days when I’m not bloated. Then I might feel better with another shirt or dress.
Most of all, I wanted to get rid of the clothes that made me focus on my body. I wanted to get clothes that complimented the way God made me instead of making me micro-analyze every part of my body and criticize it in the mirror.
For me what does that look like?
Flowy Dresses and Skirt
Form Fitting Dresses are not my favorite as much…
HOODIES! I love my Alaska hoodie.
That’s just a small example for me, but in the podcast I go deeper with these topics:
Approaching Shopping For Clothes With the Right Perspective
Remembering That Identity Is Not in Your Size
Letting Go of A Certain Size
Finding Health at Different Sizes
God Changing My Heart on Idolizing My Size and Clothing
Not Comparing Your Size to Someone Else’s
I share this and so much more on this podcast; I shared for 30 minutes. I was kind of shocked I had that much to share, but I’m praying and hoping that it could be used to encourage others who are on this same road. I also shared some fun tidbits about some of my favorite Christmas gift ideas, favorite podcasts on ED recovery, and some of my favorite blogs.