I don’t want to be a drama queen, but this year and about 3 years ago, I dealt with some really difficult heartbreak. It’s left me feeling weary, hurt, confused, lonely, and even despairing at times. I dealt with the guilt of breaking someone else’s heart or should I call it ‘bruising their heart?’ And my own heart felt hurt and lost and despairing at the same time.
Relationships are hard. I learned just how hard it was for me to be vulnerable in relationships when it came to recovery.
Then it came to the first time a guy liked me, I mean, seriously liked me. I was happy; I was over the moon; I felt so privileged and undeserving.
But. as the relationship went on. I figured out that it wasn’t where God had me, and I felt confused. The day it ended, my heart felt the first ache of heartbreak. ‘Why didn’t it work out like that? Why did I get so emotionally attached? Why didn’t I fall in love? Why am I still single 4 years later?’
These are questions that have gone through my head over the past year over and over and over. I have chewed on them, and then I have been so comforted by these truths:
God is Sovereign. There’s nothing that happens in life that doesn’t have a purpose.
God Loves me as His child. Therefore He wants the very best for me, even if that comes through trials and a bruised heart.
God can heal the bruised heart. He can bind up the broken. He cares about His children’s heartbreak.
The greatest comfort in the past year has been God’s Word, when I’m assailed by doubts and fears that I might never be good enough, that I might never have children, that I might never have that dream or desire fulfilled.
But even today, I looked up these verses on God’s sovereignty, and they fill my heart with hope that no matter what, no matter what I don’t understand, these relationships weren’t for nothing.
Isaiah 46:10, ‘Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, ‘My purpose will be established, And I will accomplish all My good pleasure’;’
Psalm 115:3, ‘But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.’
Psalm 121:2, ‘My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.’
1 Chronicles 29:12, ‘”Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone.’
So how do you deal with heartbreak, when life doesn’t go how you expected?
#1) Pray. Take your hurts to the Lord. Pour them out. Cry. Know that He hears and that He is doing something through them. – One mistake I made last year was thinking that I could get through those heartbreaks by just ‘shouldering through’ and putting on a brave face. You have to cry. You have to weep and then slowly move on.
#2) Tell close friends that you’re heartbroken, that your heart is bruised, and let them talk to you. – Just a week ago, after about 7-8 months since the last relationship ended, I had two friends invest in me with such love and compassion that I almost couldn’t believe I hadn’t opened up before. The only thing that held me back from opening up was the thought that everybody else had too many burdens themselves, that people didn’t care, and I was wrong about that.
#3) Get outside and think about it. Sing and dance and listen to music that will remind you of who Jesus Christ is and why He will always be the first LOVER of your soul. – I have been so comforted over and over, after experiencing so much guilt about the careless way in which I handled one of my potential relationships, by the knowledge that Jesus Christ will always be the perfect One who can love those in His church with perfect love.
Healing from heartbreak takes time, but Jesus Christ came to wipe away all the STAINS that I have. He came to wipe away all the sins of lying and selfishness that I saw in me during the last potential relationship. He came to take my sins and nail them to the cross; He came so that I could learn from the wrong things I did in that relationship, so that I could humble myself, and trust Him for the next step, whatever it may be.
Love you all!
Have you dealt with heartbreak? How did you find comfort in the Lord?