Eating a lot of food is not easy; it’s even harder to eat a good amount in recovery and find yourself enjoying the experience. It’s actually kind of scary especially when it comes to recovery to say that you ‘enjoy’ eating. I have come across a site, that’s not a Christian site, so you do need to use your discernment, but Urban Jane has been extremely helpful when it comes to understanding WHY our bodies need more food than the average ‘calorie needs’ calculator would ever tell you. She has helped me really understand that our bodies, as women, need nourishment.
And I am so privileged, much more than I realize, to have access to that nourishment. For 5-10 years I restricted myself from that nourishment, both in my mind and body.
I eat a lot for a girl. I know, because I’ve had the fun and wonderful opportunity to share meals with a lot of different ladies. And I guess, right now, I just have an… appetite with a capital, ‘A.’
I don’t just eat a lot of bulk, but I know I eat a lot of calories, and I know that this used to make me incredibly self conscious. I felt like the eyes of other girls, even if they weren’t, around me were boring into me and watching what I ate and my food choices.
That wasn’t true.
Now I am learning to enjoy the Lord and HIS Goodness in what I eat instead of fearing eating a good, sizeable amount for a girl.
I still calorie count in my head. I do, but I’m not afraid (usually) of going over that especially if I need more.
Do I want to be a complete intuitive eater? Yes, but I’m not there yet.
The point of this post?
I’m enjoying nourishing myself for the first time in a long time. One of my sweet friends Janie (Hannah reposted it) posted this on Instagram, and I thought it really struck at the core of what that freedom of truly eating because you’re enjoying God and His goodness feels and looks like.
Enjoying nourishment can go all the way from enjoying a good crunchy apple to a maple frosted donut. It doesn’t mean that you have to eat one certain way; it means finding joy in the experience, the people, the textures, the smells, the beauty of the atmosphere around you, even, sometimes, the chaos and the beauty of quick nourishment like a bowl of yogurt, a bar, or a fun delicious cup of fro yo or an ice cream cone.
The thing I’m learning about nourishment is that it can be gentle and simple. I love that Robyn continually emphasizes this. I love that Sarah always reminds me that simply, just eating, is so much easier than the ‘diet industry’ makes it.
The diet industry kind of makes food something to fear, something to run away from, but God made that food! He made that fat. He made that sugar that went into that donut.
And ENJOYING Him comes in so many different ways.
It’s easy to start to idolize any kind of food whether it be a salad or a donut, but my hope and prayer is that more and more that I can enjoy my Heavenly Father, enjoy the abundance of life in Jesus Christ, the joy of the Holy Spirit, in each bite of food that I eat, and I’m hopeful that more and more that will take my mind off the calories and the carbs and the fats and focus my mind more on the joy of nourishment.
How are you learning to enjoy God in the food that you eat?
Are you enjoying nourishment more?