Grieving. That was a huge part of my family’s life this past week. It was hard. It was bitter but sweet. Why bittersweet? For the past 7.5 weeks, my grandma from my mom’s side lived with my family. She was in Nevada for most of my life, and then God, through so many miraculous opening of doors, brought her here. There was so much joy, uncertainty, and revealing of how SUPER selfish I am when she got here.
The first few weeks she was here with us, I was amazed to think about how I thought I knew how to ‘love’ people, and then God showed me that I didn’t understand just how much God loved me, just how much Jesus gave when He gave His life for me, to take my sins on Him.
I complained. I said it was too hard for me. I struggled those first few weeks, and the Lord gave me SO much freedom.
Grieving. I didn’t realize the grieving would come so soon; I thought my grandma would be here for years, that we would care for her here for years, but I was wrong, and God’s plan is so much better than my expectations.
On Sunday, my grandma passed from this earth.
It was Saturday night, and my mommy called us in; she said that grandma’s pulse was low. We came in, and there was so much prayer, singing, sharing with Grandma and crying out to the Lord that she would look to Jesus, and that He might mercifully take her to the land where there are NO more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow, and just FULL of the complete glory of Jesus.
It was hard. It was good. It was full of so much sorrow yet hope.
I can’t describe these mixed feelings.
But Sunday night, we all went to bed except for one of my sisters at 12:45 AM (really on Monday morning), and about 30 minutes later, my sister walked in and woke us up.
She said those words that I didn’t want to hear.
‘Girls, Obachan (Japanese word for Grandma) passed away.’
Writing this makes me want to cry again; but I want to share with you what God did through the grieving. I saw the power of God to give us the opportunity for 7 weeks to share the gospel with my grandma. She didn’t know Jesus for most of my life, but there were so many encouraging signs as she got closer to passing that she was trusting in Jesus.
‘51 Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 53 For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. 54 When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:
“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
55 “O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”
56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
In the midst of the grieving, I was absolutely humbled, floored by the love of the body of Christ.
They brought over pancakes and quiche and yogurt and fruit.
One of our friends came over here at 3:45 AM in the morning. She said that God woke her up at 3:15 AM ish and then she saw our email. So she came over. She cried with us and laughed with us other the memories.
It’s also still been a week of learning to nourish.
I’m trying to cut back on my exercise even more, especially the cardio.
I love running, but I NEED to take care of my reproductive health. I need to be wise about it, so I’m not regretting it down the road.
So I’m learning to nourish with food that church people have brought from pancakes to pasta to salad to enchiladas.
I want you to know that grieving is part of this life, but I want to share with you that sweet hope Jesus promises in heaven of no more tears.
Revelation 21:1-4, ‘
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.
4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.’
These verses make me so excited, because sometimes the grieving on this earth is just so hard, I’m not even sure I can deal with it. But there is HOPE. Every good story. Every good movie or good book has hope, and the hope of Jesus is so real in my heart and life, knowing that death is not the end.
I’m thankful for hope. I’m still grieving. My mommy is still grieving. My sisters are still grieving.
But grateful for hope. <3
Thank you soo much Meg for the Week in Review.
Grieving: What gives you hope in grieving?
How do you still nourish even in times of grieving?