Single. It almost seems like I’m drumming a drum that’s ominous, and nobody quite wants to hear that drum. In a world where most people have a special someone, girlfriend or boyfriend, I’m almost 25 and not married. It’s not that I want to live by myself for ever or live for myself. I don’t actually have a huge desire to be a career woman, although I don’t think that’s necessarily wrong. I’ve just never quite fit into the typical. I love working, but I don’t always love making money. This blog post isn’t about over spiritualizing singleness or saying that marriage is bad, but this is me working through the thoughts, the journey that God has me on right at this moment.
I know. I’m odd.
But that’s beside what I think the Lord wants me to share.
Singlesness is not a bad thing.
I’ve been listening and relistening to 1 Corinthians 7, and these verses have been on my mind a lot these past few weeks.
‘For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.’
I’ve been asking myself. ‘Is marriage something God has really put on my heart? Is it the next clear step that God wants me to take?’ And I can’t say, ‘Yes’ honestly to those questions.
I want to say here that I’ve hopped or stepped into relationships before without really knowing that I was meant for a relationship, and I’ve dragged my feet, because it just didn’t seem like the right thing or the right time.
And that makes it hard on the other person.
Right now, after talking to my parents and seeking God’s wisdom in the Scripture and asking for advice from others, I know God wants me to singly focus on growing and serving right where I am, and in a way that’s hard to explain. I almost feel ashamed, but I KNOW that is a doubt from the devil.
Y’all, I am LOVING being single. What are those blessings of being single?
#1) You get to serve and be spontaneous. When someone needs you to take them to the airport, you can do it. When someone needs to have an ice cream date or a coffee date you can do it.
#2) You get to encourage and watch your friends and siblings grow and blossom. You get to be with them, and you get to encourage them in their pursuits too.
#3) You can focus on the gifts God has given you, and you can hone them. You can find different ways to use them; you can really branch out and be brave about expanding them.
#4) I can spend time in intimate quiet with Jesus, and I can spend time really studying God’s Word and focusing on it. I don’t know how that changes how/if someone gets married, but I’m really treasuring that time.
#5) Having the ability to travel and explore God’s World with my siblings and meet more of my brothers and sisters in Christ and more people around the world has been one of the biggest gifts of being single in Jesus.
Guys. Being single has not been easy, because I’ve struggled with knowing. I’ve struggled with knowing if this is really where I should be, but on Monday after talking to my parents, I felt a wave of peace, Christ’s peace just washing over me.
This is not me being down on marriage. This is not me saying that I don’t love babies or children, because I do. I have had so many wonderful moments of holding babies, laughing with kids, cooking with kids, and watching kids grow, but right now I see Jesus wants me to just be here serving my family, following Jesus, pursuing recovery, and still dealing with some of the issues from recovery.
Right now my passions are things that I really want to develop, things that I believe God gave me for His glory:
Writing This Blog
Helping and Praying for Girls who are Walking the Recovery Journey With Me
Cooking for People
Working on a Reporting Job
Life is so full. I know that life doesn’t begin just when you get married, and I don’t know if marriage is for me, but I want you to know that it’s ok to live fully devoted to Jesus, live fully devoted to developing your gifts for His glory, and if God changes my heart and desires to want marriage, then that’s ok too. I’m not going to say that I FOR SURE won’t get married, but I’m not saying that that desire for marriage is on my heart right now.
I want you to know that JESUS ultimately completes us, more than any human being can, and if God brings someone and He wants me to desire that, then that person can walk with me; I can walk with them as we pursue Jesus together.
But this is about being single right now, single for Jesus, and I want you to know that that’s possible, and it’s possible to embrace, to enjoy, to be thankful and to know that you are NOT less of a person because you are single.
I hope to continue sharing the journey with you and learning from you too if you are single right now!
Are you single right now?
Have you ever felt called to singleness for a time?