(Linking up with Heather and Katie to share the 5 biggest questions on my heart right now.)   

I don’t know if you gathered this about me, but I like to ask questions.  Questions, for me, are hard to get out of my mind until I write them down or verbalize them.  Lately, I’ve had five really pressing questions on my mind.  As a child of God, redeemed by the blood of Christ, covered by His righteousness, and secure in God’s grace, I’m not worried about the truthful answers to these questions, but I still ponder them every once in a while, so I can truly learn to REJOICE in the truth of each answer to each question.  The more God has put these on my heart by His merciful power and grace, the more I have come to an assurance of my identity and security, one of the biggest steps for me in recovery.   

I pray that these precious, powerful truths that fuel me for life everyday and give me joy even in the many valleys in life would be a beacon of hope for you today…

  

1.  What will happen to me when I die?  What are God’s promises about eternal life for me to cling to especially when I am doubtful or fearful?   

   John 11:25, ‘Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:’  John 5:24, ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.’  

   Mark 10:28, ‘And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.’   

   By God’s infinite grace, I am what I am, saved, redeemed from my sin.  This is something that is so big, so incredible, that my mind feels tiny when I think about it.  I have to remember that is not my grip on Him, but His everlasting grip on me that is my security.   

   

2. Why is life worth living on this earth?   What is my purpose?    

   John 14:6, ‘Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.’   (Life is worth living because of Jesus.  Jesus brings life.  Life in Jesus is so incredible, it’s indescribable.  It’s like going from darkness to an incredible, glorious, eternal life, that gives hope not only in this life but in the world to come.) 

   Revelation 4:9-11, ‘And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying, “Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”’   

   God made ME.  He made me in His image.  The Creator of the Universe sent His only Son and predestined that He might send the light of the gospel into my heart, all things that I was helpless to do.  Nothing in me merited His love, but He gave it through His Son as a free gift, something I will never fully understand.   He gives me hope and a purpose.  He gives me hope and joy.  EVERY man and woman is made in His image and for His glory.  We were created for MORE than just ourselves.  We were created for HIM!   

3. Why should I love people?  How is it possible for me to love people when I often have a hard time with God’s first commandment of loving Him?   

   1 John 4 explains this in such beauty.  1 John 4:10-14, ‘Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.’His love.  It doesn’t depend on me. It never depended on me, and that’s why I know that it will and does stand forever, and that is the reason I can love every person that comes into my path.  I will never be perfect here on this earth, but I am grateful for the perfect example of Christ, and that I am in Him.   

   

4. How come I fail all the time?   If God has saved me from my sins, does perfection come in this life?  

   I know that the resounding answer is ‘NOT yet‘ in my mind. Glory comes soon, but not yet.  I have DIED to the reign of sin just like Paul says in Romans 6:9-11, ‘Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.’ 

   Christ WON that victory over the last enemy, death, sin, the devil, and I can’t wait for the day when I will finally experience the fulness of that.  By God’s grace, I am more than a conqueror through Him that loved me.  I can’t live like a girl that’s still chained to my eating disorder. I can’t live like a girl who is still chained to my body or my food.  I’m freed from that.   I’m freed from that bondage.  Yes, the devil will shout lies at me, because he is the father of lies, but those lies have NO more POWER or dominion over me, because God’s power is within me, and His purposes will NEVER fail.   Even if I fall, God’s purposes are SURE.  I know that NOTHING can ever separate me from His love.   Psalm 138:8, ‘The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.’   

   

5. How is it possible that I can love all the girls and guys SO much that come to this little blogging corner of the world?  
   Simply put.   I can only love you because God loved me. And I’m learning more and more everyday that each blog visitor, whether you comment or not, is such a gift.  God is constantly directing my attention AWAY from page views and back to people, each soul, each person, each story, and I am INCREDIBLY grateful for every single one of you.   God is ALWAYS gracious to give me each one of you who comes here and visits, even if it’s for a short time.  The days that I have a hard time loving you, I’m know that I’m forgetting that deep love of God for me, the only love that can push me and constrain me to LOVE you all so much more.  You ALL have a story.  You ALL are made in God’s image.  You were ALL put here for a purpose.  You all need HOPE, JOY, PEACE.  And I pray that MORE and MORE God might be able to use me in small ways to be a vessel of that joy, hope, and peace to you.   

   Ok, now that I just spilled all of that, do any of you have these questions on your mind, ever?  Or am I the only one?  

   What do you tell yourself when you are struggling to love someone?  

   What are some of the biggest questions on your mind right now?  With what kinds of truths are you answering them?

 
And I also made a Vlog, because this week is NEDAwareness week.  Recovery is hard.  It doesn’t come in a day, but remembering God’s perfect love has been like a rock and shelter in the midst of a storm.   

Alison also did a REALLY relevant, transparent Vlog in honor of the week.  She says, ‘My worth is not in those numbers…’  AMAZING.  That is TRUTH, right there.