Jesus SAVES Archives - Page 6 of 6 - Beauty In Christ

Why I Tried To Hide My Eating Disorder But Couldn’t

December 22, 2016 By beautyinchrist 6 Comments

I tried to hide in the bathroom, but I really couldn’t. I tried to hide the extra food that I was eating at night in recovery even, because I felt so ashamed for being so hungry. No human eye was on me. I was crying, because I had just stepped on the scale for the … 50th time that day. And that number made me ‘feel fat.’ It defined me; I thought it did. It was all secret, I thought. My eyes couldn’t see anything but myself. I searched:

Calorie Counts
Weight Loss Strategies
Ideal Weights
and more … thinking … or acting like I couldn’t be seen.

…

WIAW: How to SMASH those Fear Foods

October 26, 2016 By beautyinchrist 17 Comments

Fear foods. I’ve talked about them before, but I thought I would get a little more ‘fiery’ about the fear food topic since I know it’s something that so many of us have encountered in the recovery journey. Isn’t it amazing how God works? I posted the last ‘fear food’ post for a WIAW too. 🙂 Today, we are going to talk about how to smash the fear foods and enjoy them instead of letting them rule your life with an iron hand.

Fear Foods… I can think of many common fear foods.

Fear Foods List

1. Anything ‘fatty’ – Burgers, fries, milkshakes, fast food (in general)

2. Anything with lots of ‘sugar’ – ICECREAM, doughnuts, (brownies)

3. Anything that the diet industry has created a HUGE ‘no-no’ around: Fill in the blank: ______ (any processed food, soda, etc.)

Do any of these strike fear in your heart when you look at them? They used to strike fear in mine. I would go on sugar fasts, and I had a really hard time bringing myself to eat any fries or a burger because of the fear around them.

How does one smash these fear foods so you no longer over think each bite?

1) Stop thinking about the food as an enemy but as a gift. 🙂 What has really helped me is thanking the Lord for the food. A heart of gratefulness really does replace a heart of terror.

Think of the fear as something to smash, to crush, and replace with gratefulness for God’s goodness and kindness!

2) Eat with friends. Don’t eat by yourself. Immerse yourself in the fellowship of other people! God made man and woman at the beginning so they could be together. He said that it wasn’t good for the man to be alone, so it’s not good for us to be alone.

Being alone with Jesus and spending time in the Word is WONDERFUL, but being alone and spending time in my own head and thoughts and any of the lies that the devil wants to put into my head is no bueno.

3) If I am eating alone, I have to be making a conscious effort to really think on lovely things and let God’s Word abide in me, instead of my own wayward thoughts that tend to go off the edge so quickly.

Colossians 3:16 is a huge encouragement for me and a precious reminder that the comfort and the divine truth of my Heavenly Daddy’s Words will always keep me centered when my mind is tempted to be tossed about by lies.

‘Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.’

4) Enjoy the food! If you loved burgers when you were a child, before your ED, think about those experiences. Think about the joy of life, of living, of being alive because God has preserved your life. He’s given you another chance to live! Your life wasn’t just put here randomly.

You were made for a purpose, and it involves far more than fearing food. In fact it doesn’t involve fearing food.

You were made for a purpose, and that purpose wasn’t to fear food. #edrecovery #Godisgood

Click To Tweet

We were made for God, and Jesus makes it possible to be gathered into the Father’s arms, to be forgiven of all our wrongs, and to be His child. And when your His child, the fear of the fry, the fear of the ice cream begins to melt away.

When you realize that God wants you to be thankful … instead of worried, the burden of having the:

‘Perfect diet’
‘Perfect foods’
‘Perfect body’

slips away, and you’re left gazing at the perfection of Jesus, the righteousness of Jesus that covers you and makes you FREE.

Isaiah 61:10, ‘I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.’

How am I doing on this fear food journey? I still deal with some anxiety when we go out to eat or when I don’t eat enough vegetables. Yet, the more I think about eating how God made my body, the more I think, ‘Wow, this is so simple. Why do I make it so complicated?’

My days of eats shouldn’t be compared to yours.. These WIAW’s with Jenn and Arman and Laura aren’t for food judging or comparison; they’re for enjoying what each other eats with no judgment at all. 🙂

Without further delay, I present to you a day of Em’s eats.

Breakfast: A big bowl of Chobani yogurt with HAZELNUT Bliss Butter (this is the best hazelnut butter I’ve ever eaten!), Endangered Species Chocolate, and Essentially Coconut Creamy Cashew.

Did you enter my ‘Essentially Coconut butter‘ giveaway yet?

Lunch: Yes, I did put spaghetti sauce on salad along with an unpictured slice of Kat’s Sweet Potato Muffins (which I turned into bread)

Snack Time: A wee little banana with a big scoop of some more ‘hazelnut’ Bliss Nut Butter and a leftover piece of Michele’s Sweet Potato Brownies.

Dinner: Nachos and veggies. ‘Nuff said. 🙂 Nachos are one of the best quick meals that our family likes to do after a long day!

Dessert: It was literally so random but so good. It was some toffee chocolate (Green & Black brand), frozen yogurt mixed into Chobani yogurt, and more sweet potato bread.

(And I might eat some cereal later, but I don’t have to share a picture of that cause it’s not anything super beautiful to look at… It’s just YUMMY!)

And some soul FOOD to feast on as I end this post. 🙂

1 Peter 2: 6-10, ‘Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner, And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed.

But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light; Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.‘

How to smash fear foods and ENJOY every bite… #fearfoods #eattolive #lifeiswonderful

Click To Tweet

Jesus came to smash the enmity, the darkness in my heart, smash the fear foods in my life, and most of all give HOPE for eternity with God.

Isn’t He wonderful?

How are you going to smash a fear food or a fear that you are struggling with?

When a fear food confronts you what is a truth that comes to mind that you smash that fear with?

What comfort and consolation do you find in God’s Word to smash all terror and fear?

Where I Find Courage When I Am Full of Fear

September 26, 2016 By beautyinchrist 23 Comments

Fear. I’ve talked about it before, but I think I need to get a little bit deeper, a little bit more personal, a bit more vulnerable, especially after Julia shared this post, in which she talked about being REAL, sharing who you really are. And you know what that means? That means that although I write posts of encouragement, posts in which I’ve talked about faith and courage and hope (which I truly am learning and growing in by God’s tremendous all sufficient grace) , I do struggle with fear.

What do I fear? I fear:

Going on trips: It gets me out of my routine, and that throws me into anxiety.

Sometimes I still fear gaining weight.

I fear my family members dying.

…

How My Family Helped My Recovery

February 17, 2016 By beautyinchrist 13 Comments

(My stupendous sister who is always challenging me to step out in faith and trust God more.)

My family was NEVER the reason for my idols of self, food, and body. In fact, God used my family to be one of the biggest parts of recovery.

Well, I was thinking about this, and I thought, ‘What would be a good topic to ‘think out loud’ on with Amanda?’ I couldn’t think of a better or dearer topic to my heart than this at the moment in regards to recovery.

My family NEVER said anything negative to me about my body. They NEVER called me fat. They never disparaged the way I ate. They would playfull tease me when I would load up on a HUGE salad, but I never incurred ANY hurt from those comments. I thought it was endearing. Nothing they ever said or did pushed me down the slippery slope to putting the idol of self, body, and food in front of my Almighty God and Father.

(My sister re-enacting the ‘Lion King.’ This sister understands struggles with body image more than I ever did at her age, and in a lot of ways, I regret that, but in a lot of ways, God has used it to make her so compassionate and understanding. She reminds me of what it is to eat to live, not ‘live to eat.’ She loves soup, cookies, salad, and ice cream. She gets me back to what real balance is)

I am so thankful that God Almighty gave me my precious family in recovery, because they were one of the biggest reasons I recovered. God works in so many awesome and mysterious ways, His wonders to perform. His mind and ways are higher than mine, SO much higher, and for that I’m so grateful.

(Best brother in the world. Thank you Lord)

I could not have planned how recovery would go or that I would struggle with an eating disorder, but God has brought something SO beautiful out of it.

Ecclesiastes 3:11, ‘He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.’

God used my family to make recovery beautiful. They didn’t make it hard. Of course they challenged me with the love of Christ, to conquer my fears through Christ alone, and to move on from many of my fears that I had, and to REALLY trust that I serve a mighty God. They pressed me to really discover and search the Scriptures for what the PERFECT, absolutely perfect love of God is. If God loved me with an everlasting love through His Son, why would I want to be in bondage to myself and the devil anymore?

1 John 4:18, ‘There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.’

My sister was the one who asked me whether I was TRULY walking in newness of life. Was I really acting as if Jesus Christ had won the victory over these idols of food and body? Or was I continuing to listen to the lies of the Devil. Was I resisting the Devil so that he would flee from me or was I embracing the freedom of Christ Jesus?

John 8:34-36 says, ‘Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.’

My family pointed me back to Jesus, the only solution for my brokenness. They didn’t give me half-baked solutions. They didn’t just make me feel better about myself. They often prodded me to the core of my being with truth from the Scripture, and it helped uncover and heal the wounds that had been created over years and years of idolatry.

(My dad going on a bike ride with my sister and I in Vail, CO)

Psalm 118:1-9, ‘O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: because his mercy endureth for ever.Let Israel now say, that his mercy endureth for ever.Let the house of Aaron now say, that his mercy endureth for ever. Let them now that fear the Lord say, that his mercy endureth for ever.I called upon the Lord in distress: the Lord answered me, and set me in a large place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? The Lord taketh my part with them that help me: therefore shall I see my desire upon them that hate me.It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes.’

Most of all, God used my family to soak me in the living water of Christ.

John 4:13-14, ‘Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.’

The more I recover, the more Jesus Christ fills me with His worth and His beauty. Obsessing over how many calories I ate, or whether or not I miss a workout won’t ever make me happy or ultimately joyful. It’s not eternal life. It’s only food. That’s all it is, just food, nothing more, nothing less. It’s an incredible gift from God. BUT, it’s not THE GIFT.

That’s what God used my family to remind me of, and they are one of the MAJOR reasons I recovered and that I am walking in freedom today. They constantly point me back to my freedom in Christ, that in Christ I have died to that old realm of sin. I may fail and sin when I am listening to the lies of the Devil, but I am no longer under its dominion or its reign. I am NEW in Christ. I am not my body. I am not a number. I am not the calories that I eat. I am a sinner, saved by grace, and feebly walking this road, leaning wholly on the COMPLETE, FULL forgiveness and redemption and glory of my Heavenly Father.

This brings me to one last thought.

Will I ever relapse?

No.

Why?

Romans 6:8-14 explains this better than I ever could. ‘Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.’

It’s impossible for me to go back. The whole point of grace was to redeem me from sin. It was to redeem me from every idol and to put me into Christ. I’m not perfected yet, but I know that will come when we go to be with Jesus. Yet, I know that the devil has no more dominion over me. He can yell at me, and I can even find myself listening to his lies, but his lies have no bearing in my life anymore.

This isn’t the devil’s life or even my life. It’s God’s life, and nothing can ever pluck me from His almighty, omnipotent hand.

Matthew 10:27-29, My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.’

His grace is sufficient!

If you struggled with a mental illness issue or eating disorder who were some of the people who were most instrumental in your recovery?

What thoughts would you like to share? I would love to hear what you’re thinking about today, no matter how random. 🙂

Featured Blog Posts