Intuitive eating. I used to know how to do it. Now it’s difficult, because I got wrapped up in food being ‘numbers,’ instead of ‘nutrition.’
The mindset that comes with intuitive eating is natural. I believe that God made humans with a signal in their body to say, ‘Hey, I’m hungry,’ or ‘Hey, I’m full. You can stop eating now.’
I was intuitive as a child. I didn’t really over eat or go to bed starving. It was just natural. And then came the ‘exercise craze.’ With it also came a wrong mindset when it comes to being active. I forgot that ‘every good and perfect gift’ is from above. I forgot that ‘bodily exercise profits little.’ It became my world, and the numbers consumed me.
If you calorie count, and you don’t really need to, it becomes an obsession. It’s not just a matter of logging into ‘My Fitness Pal’, logging the intake, and logging out. It’s numbers that stick in your head, and you can’t get them out. You think about them when it’s not time to eat. You think about them when you go to sleep or when you eat your brother’s birthday cake.
Food is not about the numbers. It’s about fellowship, colors, varieties, textures, sights, sounds, and the smells that God has so marvelously designed. It’s about God saying at the end of His creation of this marvelous world, ‘And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.’ (Genesis 1:31).
God called what He made good. He made vegetables, sugar cane, nuts, fruits, cows for milk, and wheat for bread. It’s not something to fear or to worship.
Day by day, I want to think of food as a reason to worship the Creator. I want my eating to not be obsessed by the nutrition content, even though I do care about nutrition. I want it to be rooted in a love, an obsession with Jesus and what He has done, and His glory.
Yet, I know what I would really like to do, but a return to intuitive eating is easier said than done.
I wake up in the morning like this:
‘Wow, today would be a wonderful day to do some intuitive eating. I think I can eat exactly what I need and not think about it twice..’
Then I get to breakfast. I want to be completely real and say that this is when I start to question myself. ‘Can I really eat without eating too much? Can I really not pick up one too many pieces of french toast?’
And some mornings, I can push past the urge to count it and re-count it in my head because I truly have understood a bit of just how I can be strong in the Lord and the power of His might.
Other times, I struggle. I feel really weak. I am weak by myself, but the days I try to depend on myself, I fail, and Jesus brings me back to Him, reminding me of just how much I need Him.
And I am learning to thank God for all the food that has re-fed and re-nourished my body.
Recovery is worth it. It’s not something that you want to regress from or throw away. Yet, it’s a very real struggle. It’s a very real battle to shut the demons of ED out of your head, but the bigger Christ becomes in our minds, the fainter the demon’s voices become.
Satan has no power over me. He can’t. I’ve been bought by the blood of Jesus, saved by His life. I can’t live in the past anymore. I can’t live in the numbers, but it’s a journey. It’s a fight, and by His grace, I’m not giving up.
Go enjoy some food. <3 And I hope that you can savor every bite, knowing that each one brings you closer to life and freedom!
Intuitive eating. Do you struggle with it or are you pretty good at it?